Grief Undressed

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I am stilled filled with sorrow
At losing you.
The pain is always there,
Mostly suppressed but
Today my grief is undressed.

The years have flown by
And I’ve tried,
Really tried
To see a purpose,
Yet I remain deeply hurt.
I lost a brother and gained another
Within the space of a year:
My sister lost her first love
And God above –
I’m still angry, so angry.

How can I defend my belief
In an ever-loving God
And live with the memory?
It was truly a mystery,
Finding words to tell your boys.
Your death doesn’t sit easily with me
And yet I have to believe
That you are somewhere,
That there is more to life
Than we can see or know,
That there is somewhere we go.

My hope is that you can see
Your grown boys, their families,
That you are proud of them,
Of the fathers they’ve become.
Both are different and yet
Each has characteristics
That reminds me of you,
Of things you’d say and do.

I am older now than you can ever be
And still, I’m angry.
Rest well brother,
I must cover my grief once more:
Dress it in the respectability
Of hope,
In the continuity
Of life,
In the certainty
Of the life to be.

Copyright wordz2Go 7 Nov 2016

Dedicated to my lovely brother-in-law on his birthday.
He died from cancer age 32 in 1987.

1 Corinthians 13:12 “… Now I know in part, then I shall know fully…”

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