Kit and Me

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Kitty and me
We share fleas,
She snores as she sleeps
And she wriggles round a lot,
She howls if she’s left
And she pees in my veggie plot!
She hides in my shopping bag
To fool nasty coffee staff
And bites naughty children
Just to give her Dad a laugh!
She’s loving and loyal
And eager to please us all,
Eats special chihuahua food,
Drinks no alcohol,
Takes me out walking
But doesn’t like the rain a woof
Needs a Mac and wellies
To make her waterproof!
I love this cwtchy
Long-haired little girlie
Fleas are irrelevant
‘Cos she loves unconditionally!!

Copyright wordz2Go Sept 2017

 

 

 

 

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Pearl 15 – Mini Love

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When we were young and carefree,
Driving my orange mini to and from university,
I happily let you drive too –
Never thinking that you
Would abuse my trust
And destroy my beloved car.

DFK707L was the registration –
A strange way to show affection,
To take my car to view a train
And never bring it back again.
A steam train you said,
Sure I said, take the car.
Never thinking you’d tear my mini apart,
If only I’d known you’d break my heart!

When you burst in the door,
Said my car was no more,
It made me so sad
As my Dad had worked hard
To make it roadworthy
For this Yorkshire journey.

The car was old so I kept a tow rope
And jumper leads in the boot,
Many’s the time we did a jump-start
But now I hadn’t the heart.
So your Dad towed me back
With a nice bit of slack
‘Till we met the hump-back bridge
When a small acceleration
Inflamed the situation
By ripping my mini in two!
I could have killed you.
Two men with their beer
Almost fell in the river and
All the people outside the pub cheered!

My poor baby was dead,
I couldn’t see ahead.
Couldn’t think how we’d get home.
The front bumper was gone,
The bonnet askew,
The lights had spewed from the frame,
The side seams were split,
It wasn’t going to be fit,
It looked pretty much end-game.

The local mechanic
Looked and laughed
But when he turned the key,
Despite my grief
And in disbelief
I watched as she started!
A few bits of wire
And some gaffer tape
Made her safe to drive –
As long as I drove in day light
Everything was alright.
We’d get home again
I was so glad,
But then I’d have to face Dad!

Did I forgive you?
Of course I did.
My mini was a tad mercurial
And her injuries weren’t incurable:
I feel I should stress my role in this mess,
It was me me behind the wheel
When she nearly broke in two,
So you’re safe, I still love you.

Copyright wordz2Go Mar 2016

Warning

I drove my Mini through a flood,
It didn’t do it any good.
I didn’t know how deep it was, and I drove down there, well, because …
I couldn’t see around the bend.
I’d like to forget the cold depth,
I’d like to forget the cold sweat,
The panic that set in as the engine died on me.
I tried to reach my mobile phone,
I felt like I was all alone in a watery world.
What’s funny now was scary then,
As I climbed into the back seat,
Quite an age-defying feat,
To break into the boot to find my phone.
I was saved by my very own shining knight,
Who saw my plight and pulled me out.
The moral of the tale is this:
If you don’t want to look a fool,
Follow this simple rule – drive on Tarmac not on water,
Be sure to look around the corner,
Else you could be waiting on the BMW ministry
To build a brand new engine, just like me!

Copyright word2Go 27 January 2014