12 months on: I Know

IMG_0687

Your cross around my neck
Has soothed my soul:
This past year,
I’ve held it in prayer,
And slowly adapted
Without you.
Walking into your room
I feel your presence;
Unseen, for now,
‘Though you’ve never left
And we were blessed,
I know.

I pictured you there
When we moved home,
Pleased for us:
Flags waving,
Cheerfully embracing,
Selfish, I know.
By the grace of God
You’ll watch from above,
Fully healed,
Running free
And though we can’t see;
I know.

Copyright wordz2Go Jun 13 2017
Titus 1:1-3 ‘Hope of eternal life is based on God’s promise.  And God cannot lie.’

Guardian Angel

Flying high in the sky,
Unrestrained,
No pain.
Soaring over mountain tops,
Bathed in God’s glory –
Relishing the worshipping
In a life we cannot see.
Now and then you’ll still your wings,
Hover a while
And smile into our lives.
We’ll shed a tear as you draw near –
Hear your voice,
See your face:
Two worlds collide,
Until you’re drawn back heaven-side,
Rising up on angel wings
To heights we cannot see,
And yet we’ll be,
Touched by your smile,
Warmed by your touch.
Love never leaves us,
It grows and passes on,
Flowing ceaselessly
Through our daughters and our sons.

Copyright wordz2Go Sept 2016
1 Corinthians 13: 12

Rainbows – 29th June, 2016

Mam’s Funeral:

The rain has lifted –
Leaving Wales with a lighter heart
Even though we’ve had to part
With Mam today.
It was both incredibly sad
And beautifully joyful;
Parting is inherently painful, yet,
There is joy in belief:

Because we love you,
Because we couldn’t bear to see you in so much pain,
Because it was your time
Ordained by God himself.
Because we’re promised that we will know you again.
God is good,
God is gracious,
God answered your prayers
Because He cares.
His capacity for love
Is unimaginable,
Empathy unfathomable:
Beyond our ability to understand,
The peace of God that falls on all
Who call
On the Lord.

Sustain us even when we deny You,
Strengthen us anew.
Grace is Yours to give
And ours to receive even though we grieve.
After every life-storm is the rainbow of hope and love
In God above,
Of a time beyond time,
Of a day beyond today
When all things will be made right
In Christ’s inestimable sight.

Rest now.
Sleep tight. X

Copyright wordz2Go July 2016
Ephesians 1:10

Who Do I Ring?

Who do I ring?

When I can’t remember a birthday date
And fate decrees I’m far too late
To send a card now.
Who will show me yet again
How to repair a trouser tear and steer
Me through the process?

Who will update me on family news,
And choose the choicest bits to amuse
Our conversation?
Who will smile as I enter the room
And assume
I’m whom she expected?

I’ve kept her last voice message,
An emotional hostage,
To help me bridge the gap.
To hear her voice
And rejoice in her choice
Of conversation starter.

Now and then I bathe in her sound
As I’ve found grief rebounds
When it’s totally unexpected.
When I’m driving home in the dark and the rain
I’ll still ring you Mam,
Again and again.

Copyright wordz2Go July 2016
1 Corinthians 13:11-12

Au Revoir

Driving home to bury you
Is the saddest journey ever.
Your image burns brightly in my mind the whole time
While the daylight gets darker and darker
Mirroring the turmoil inside.
Tumultuous, angry clouds rolling by
With every mile but
Multiple memories temporise the gloom.
Happy time memories,
Of holidays and youth
Before the pain, before age and infirmity.
It’s a strange feeling, deeply sad
And yet there is peace and comfort too
Because I know with absolute certainty
That you are safe,
That you are fully healed and pain free,
That you walk and run and smile,
That you are at peace.
We miss you now but we will meet again,
This I know,
This will carry me through tomorrow
As we walk down the chapel aisle
To say ‘au revoir ‘,
To celebrate all that you meant to us,
Good night,
Sleep tight. xx

Copyright wordzGo June 2016
1 Corinthians 13:11-12

The Viewing

I spoke with Dad tonight,
He’s had lots of visitors, family and friends,
The love never ends.
I’m grateful there’s support for him
When I can’t be near
But when I heard
Him say he was popping up to see Mam
The tears streamed down my face.
How brave.
It sounded like he was going upstairs
Not to a funeral home.
He feels so alone,
He hasn’t seen her in ten days
After nearly sixty three years of marriage
That’s a long time.
I’m not sure I can face viewing Mam,
Really not sure that I can.
Lord give me the strength and the grace
To face what I must,
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

Copyright wordz2Go June 2016
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Emptiness

Emptiness is tearing my heart apart:
A searing pain
Washes over me in waves
Causing a tsunami of emotions
As my brain processes
Your death.
How can someone just cease to exist?
You’ve always been there for me,
Always loved me no matter what
And now we speak only in my mind,
I see you only in photos that evoke memories
Of happy times gone by.
Will my memories be enough?
Will my future grandchildren come to love you too?
I’ve scanned photo after photo
Looking for you Mam
And you’re there, I see you,
But I can’t touch you.

Even though I know you’re safe,
Part of me is missing
And I will never be the same.
I hold to the promise
That I will see you again

Copyright wordz2Go June 2016
1 Corinthians 13: 8-10