First Day Back

My first day back at work today
I could have stayed away
A little more,
But, I might have been missed
And I couldn’t insist
On marking students absent
If they were there and I was not.
So I packed a clean mug
And some prescription drugs
To see me through the day.
Before you know it –
It’s like I’ve never been away1

I’ve done it –
I’ve started a new term
To teach and to learn,
But we’re three staff down
So I’ve been running around –
Now all I have to do
Is beat the queue
Out of the car park tonight
And take delight
‘Cos I’ve earned my G n’ T –
Don’t be beastly to me:

I’m shattered!

Copyright words2Go Jan 2016

Onesie

I’m dressed as a sheep today.
A white, wooly fleece,
For Comic Relief!
A bit of fun for my class,
An urge to eat grass
Came over me and I just knew
That a sheep I must be,
Though it is rather twee
To see me in my onesie.
I pray I won’t slip
As I gambol down stairs
And hope everyone feels it was worth it!

Copyright wordz2Go March 2015

The Teacher’s Hell

The kid passes, the kid did well,
The kid fails, the teacher’s hell,
No matter what the kid must win.

You push and shove,
Dispense tough love,
Encourage and praise,
Forgo a raise,
Work a sixty hour week,
Mark until your sight’s weak,
Go all day without a break,
Chase those who do no work,
No time even for the toilet
Work ’til the car park’s shut,
The ever open staff room door,
The ever open teaching war.
Leave a class to ring a mother,
Then wonder why you bother,
Few are grateful for your effort,
Refuse to see you as an expert,
Clearly you don’t know your job
If their child is such a flop.

The kid passes, the kid did well,
The kid fails, the teacher’s hell.

Copyright wordz2Go Feb 2015

Post Holiday Blues

Turkey-stuffed and tinselled out,
The sprouts are gone, the tree is down,
Long awaited break complete.
Sleep-stocked and energised,
Alarm’s revised, it’s time for work,
Holiday is now replete.
Battery-charged and bags primed
Reminds me the break is done,
Going back is bittersweet.
Teaching wreaks a heavy toll,
Whole sleepless nights, the sassy kids,
Sometimes hard to stay upbeat.

Copyright wordz2Go 5 January 2015

Marking

Iv’e been tied up in my study
marking websites all day long
Why don’t my students listen
and follow feedback given
To gain the grade they long?

I just can’t understand them,
what are they playing at?
Do they think I wouldn’t notice
That their referral work is bogus?
I’m feeling rather flat.

The thing they just don’t get
is that their time is short,
They only have the year
To get themselves in gear –
The ship has left the port.

Please follow my instructions
if you want to pass,
Then I can have a weekend off
And start to be a bit less cross,
Find the wine and fill my glass.

Copyright wordz2Go 12 January 2014

A non-teaching night

A gin and tonic’s just the thing on a Friday night
Pour a double over ice, God, what a sight.
Light the fire, have a seat, feet upon the pouff,
Take a first sip, just relax and then sure enough –
The damn phone will ring!
Who can it be? No-one who knows me, surely?

Keeping chitchat short and sweet I hang up the call,
G & T’s my weekly treat and above all; I deserve this alcohol!
I’m not advocating drunkeness just a weekly tipple
Better make the most of it perhaps I’ll have a triple.
Off I trot to the bar collecting on the way
Fur lined slippers, coat and scarf as it’s far away.
It’s worth the trip, I have to say, as I found the lime –
Phones’s set on answer now, my night should be sublime.
From this ditty I hope you’ve learned
On Friday night’s I’d rather stay un-in-formed.
Ring me, if you dare, but I’ve got to come clean
You’ll end up chatting with my answering machine!

Copyright wordz2Go 8 December 2013

Big Sis

My big sis, she takes the rise
Out of girls and boys
She tries to teach but it’s hit and miss
Teaching through the noise.
She needs to seek her inner zen,
Find the wine, put down her pen,
Drink enough to go to sleep,
Then go school to teach again!

Copyright wordz2Go 10 October 2013

The Gamester

Wayne he is a gaming fan, a very clever man
He’s working hard to build his personal pension plan.
Communication is his very own Achilles heel;
The cry goes out, ‘Where’ Wayne’ we ask, that man is so unreal!
He’s hiding in the lab again
He does from time to time
He’ll be playing with his games engine
And sipping soda lime.
He’s not a man of many words, prefers HTML,
He’s even moved his office desk to avoid the doorbell,
He’d rather zone out and get on with his game.
The cry goes, out, ‘Where’s Wayne’ we ask; but, all the same,
We wouldn’t change him for the world, we’d rather look and lose,
‘Tis better to have loved and lost, and to be bemused
A game of hide and seek enlivens up our day
We really wouldn’t have it another way!

Copyright wordz2Go 25 November 2013

Young Timothy

‘Young Timothy’ I call him,
He’s the oldest one of us
A wise and loving father figure, he never makes a fuss
He always has the answer to whatever we don’t know
He is getting older but those grey hairs just don’t show!
There’s nothing Young Timothy cannot sort out –
From Excel to ECDL; just give him a shout!
He even showed me yesterday where I was going wrong –
How to mail a photo from my iPhone to Hong Kong.
He’s a real old fashioned gentleman, very well brought up
You’ll never hear him swear or shout or make a real muck up.
A milder mannered man you surely will not meet
Young Timothy is a pleasure and my secret little treat
As he always says a cheery ‘Good morning, Angie’
It makes my day that he shows his care for me.

Copyright wordz2Go 21 November 2013

The Healthy One

Adie is a friend of mine; he’s really nice and sweet,
He’s slightly bald, not too tall, with the body of an ex-athlete.
From this description you can see he’s really quite unique.
He always has a cheery smile and never gets the blues
If I am down he’ll lift my mood and pull me right around.
He loves to watch the footie, he’s a dedicated fan,
Every Saturday at King Power singing with the gang.
Adie eats only organic, healthy food
Offer him a bag of chips, he’ll think you’re being rude!
Nothing calorific has ever passed his lips
He’ll only eat fruit and salad with his fingertips.
He’s a very helpful colleague, good to have around
You need someone to keep your feet upon the ground.
A fine, upstanding specimen, a techno-gizmo geek
He brings a ray of sunshine to my working week!

Copyright wordz2Go 21 November 2013